The DC metro: efficient and poke-tastic. (unlike this subject line)
Guy 1:How do I get to Vienna?
Guy 2:It's at the end of the line, so just pass out, and when the metro people start poking you with sticks, you know you're there.
-- Orange line
Guy 1:How do I get to Vienna?
"If it wasn't for alcohol, I think we'd be home right now"
Announcer: Helloo!!!???? Hellooo??!!! Will someone please stop the children from playing on the escalator? (no one moves to stop the children going up the down escalator)
Girl to her "so-called" friends: "I mean, what exactly does she bring to our group of friends? I mean, with us, there's like this spark. And, with her, I mean, she's not really funny, she's not really nice, she's not anything. I mean, I guess, she's a good outlet when I want to talk ..."
Guy in rumpled business suit with a crown of yellow flowers yelling while giving the peace sign driving down Clarendon Blvd: GOD LOVES YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Law student waiting in line with friend at check out: "When's the 4th of July this year?"
British guy to group of drunken Preakness assholes on the metro: Who won Preakness?
We know you hear stupid DC people say stupid DC things. We know you mock them. Let us mock them too! Send your droppings to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Tourist teenage boy: "Boy, it sure does feel weird walking up those things. It's a sensation!"
Labels: Tourons (Tourist + Moron)
Girl to friend: I refuse to call it Grande or Venti. Please you are totally not French.
Girl: Stephanie, guess how much Kevin paid for all of his Bourbon and waters? 16 dollars!
Drunk girl 1: Hey, look at what that guy is wearing. Do you think he's a pimp?
Girl to friends: Who cares about immigration?!?! Greys Anatomy is on tonight! Stupid immigration.
"Media Bigwig" to underlings: "Bush is really, 'bugging' me. Get it? Get it?!"
Girl: I couldn't procreate. Because if I procreated once, I'd have to procreate again.
"If he's gonna make me gay, it'll be on my own terms."
Guy to girl: "Damn, you have a lot of condoms in there."
Drunk girl to drunk guy: "Shady Grove? Wait, we’re at Farragut North, we live on the orange line! This won’t take us home. This is the red line. Damnit. How do we get to Farragut West?! Where is Farragut West?!?"
"That's what Tiananmen Square was really about - killing hippies. Now I don't usually side with Communist China, but..."
College-aged guy talking about a party he was at: "Yeah, it was great. I had this Black and Tan..."
(Middle-aged guy gets onto a train and sees a younger girl wearing a shirt that says "Huey Lewis and the News 2005 Tour")
Guy 1: Is this a cool time to talk?
Straight guy to straight guy: "I can make my dong vibrate."
Same drunk guys, Part II.
(Group of people talking about Family Matters)
Guy #1 – Did you hear about Tony Snow?
Girl: I want to go shopping.
Guy: I know I just saw you make out with that guy, but I think you're really cute. Can I get your number?
Group of high school girls talking about the history of DC:
Stripper: It is against the law in DC to give lap dances.
Crazy homeless guy screaming at seemingly random guy in suit: Hey. HEY! You want this document? (Frantically waving a piece ofpaper in the air.)