I prefer to leave my longjohns on the metro, thank you very much.
On a red train at Metro Center towards Glenmont:
"This is Metro Center, doors opening on your left. Ladies and gentlemen, please be sure to take all personal items with you, including coats, sweaters, longjohns, gloves, mittens, scarves, earmuffs, ski masks, iPhones, BlackBerrys, cell phones, PDAs, laptops, backpacks, purses, books, magazines, newspapers, and yes, that means all paper products, with you when you exit the train.
I am a train operator, and I approve this message."
Same train, upon arriving at Glenmont:
"This train is now out of service. Y'all get off my train now."