Ahh, the busy lives of your neighborhood bum.

Bum: Hey my man, can you do me a favor?
Guy: What?
Bum: You see my wife over there? (Points to a woman who's not with him). She's obviously pregnant (she wasn't really pregnant). If I give you my drivers license (takes out drivers license) will you watch her for a little bit while I go do some stuff?
**Guy hurries away.**

-- Dupont Circle