Friday, June 30, 2006

Super duper size me- QUICK!

6.28.06, sitting at gate B20 in the DFW airport, awaiting a flight back to BWI:

Fat, middle-aged male-half of the tourist couple (FMAM-H): "Maybe we better eat--what time we get in tonight?"
Fat, middle-aged female-half of the tourist couple (FMAF-H): "We don't get there 'til 6:00. Yah, we better eat."
(FMAM-H): "Yup, we better eat, I guess."
(FMAF-H): "yah, ok." "Couple 'o cheeseburgers, fries and a coke?"
(FMAM-H): "Whut?"
(FMAF-H): "Couple 'o cheeseburgers, fries and a coke?"
(FMAM-H): "Yah, ok."

[He gives her some $$$ and she rumbles off, returning shortly with several overstuffed bags from the airport McDonald's. They settle in to their feast and are quiet for 30 seconds or so while, sucking down french fries]

(FMAF-H) & (FMAM-H): [Embarrassingly loud grunts of pleasure come from both as they continue to slurp and suck]

(FMAF-H): "God. Finally--REAL food! None o' that trail mix, granola stuff. That's all they had at their house!"
(FMAM-H): "Yah, I hate that stuff. Can't eat it. I was starvin'!"
(FMAF-H): "Yah, me too! Never could eat that trail mix stuff. "

(FMAF-H) & (FMAM-H): [continued slurps of contentment are heard as they each ponder the bliss of access, once again, to real food."]



At 1:17 AM, Anonymous MJB said...

I collect OVERHEARDS as hobby, I like to sort them out in different ways. This one stuck out in my notes, coming from Texas. So I double-checked. Ah, it was posted from DC, my hometown. Thought I recognized the particular attitude, and the self-insertion; there is no other style quite like it in the world. Back when I started my hobby several years ago, I didn't notice how uniquely offensive it is.
See? I have it too. Wonder what I would have been like if my family had stayed in Minnesota, or in Illinois, or in Dallas. Maybe I wouldn't be helping to keep the line clearly marked so I can demonstrably not cross it, like this sanctimonious little account does. Hah! We ought to know better, lets stop. Here, I'll go first.


Post a Comment

<< Home