Uncle Sam wants YOU ... to save a woodpecker or two

"... so the army does these combined arms drills. But they have to make sure they don't disturb the pine trees where these endangered woodpeckers live or else the treehuggers will get mad. I mean, I guess it's all good that we save natural resources and everything, but I can't help thinking about that these 18 year olds that go out and mark the trees... wouldn't it just be better if we trained them to blow stuff up instead?"

-- (Presumably) a defense contractor getting out of an ATL to DCA Delta redeye.