Excuse me, but do you have a fanny pack hidden under that sports coat?

In overcrowded metro car at Woodley Park, during last week's delays on the red line:

Cranky Old Guy: "Excuse me, I need to get on the train."

Guy Nearest Door: "You know, there's really not any room in this car."

Cranky Old Guy: "I can see that, but I need to board anyway. Some of us need to get to work."

Guy a Few Feet Away: "Do you really think all the rest of us are just tourists in suits?"