Redskins and blueballs

Setting: FedEx Field, 11:15-30ish PM, roughly 3 minutes remaining in the Redskins - Eagles Game. The Redskins have the ball and look like they may score.

Redskins Fan: "YEEEEEAAAAAAA! Let's go Redskins, they're like the horny drunk at the end of the night! Just take whatever you can get!"

And then the Skins fumble and the Eagles recover it.

You stay classy, State Department

In the men's room at the State Department:

Man in stall, sitting on toilet, talking on cell phone:

"My friends and I are all about projecting an image as high class intellectuals, you know, like philosophers...."

End of statement obscured by the sound of a toilet flushing.

Trains are soooo cool.

A gaggle of girls in their late teens are leaving Union Station, one says to the other: See I told you it wasn't an airport!

Krispy Kreme Marketing Scheme

Man selling Krispy Kremes outside of Gallery Place/Chinatown Metro this morning:

"$5! Krispy Kreme donuts - 12 for $5! Share them with the ones you love! Share them with the ones you hate! $5"

T9's parents - not married!

18th and Columbia NW:

Man: This makes me so angry! Predictive text won't let me write 'bastard.'

Woman: Yeah, it's like the people who invented it didn't want anybody to swear.

Is the tea hot hot hot? Or is it cold...

Outside the Starbucks at Gelman Library on the GW Campus:

"I've never had hot green tea before... I don't recommend it."

There's no way they were talking about a US Senator...

Outside Clyde's on M Street:

"Well, thank you, Mr. Senator! Y'all actually got shit done! I'm glad I voted for your white ass!"