Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Yeah! Please submit all eavesdrops in 12 pt Verdana bold - or whatever.

"I forgot that my boss doesn't do Time New Roman"
--Orange line


Let me know when you want to go pro

"It was sweet, we were just doing some casual girl watching."
--Express guy outside of the Foggy Bottom metro

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Sounds like my kind of lesbian

Two men talking: "She's the one who introduced me to the lesbian that beat me up after sex".
--Adams Morgan


Monday, February 26, 2007

I can't wait to hear what she gave up for Lent

Girl: "I should probably go to church tomorrow. It would make my Mom happy. And the Priest is really fucking hot."

--Saturday night, Yellow Line Metro

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Too bad sex doesn't like you

Geek: Yeah, I'm a big geek, but I still really like sex.

--Buffalo Billiards


A "stuck on the metro" two-for-one

Two girls on the Orange line around Metro Center:

Girl 1: Girl get off me, you know I don't like hookers.
Girl 2: Yeah, well I don't like Chinese people.
Girl 1: Do I look Chinese to you?
Girl 2: I was just letting you know.

About two minutes later, two teens start talking about Howard University

Teen 1: You know, they should have a pretty good basketball team.
Teen 2 (pauses, looks uncomfortable) You mean because they're black?
Teen 1: Well, yeah. Do you think I'd be an outcast if I went there?
Teen 2: Probably.


Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Why would I be a leg man? I don’t need legs. I have legs!

Guy: "Man, I've dated two chicks with fake boobs. I mean, what's up with that?"

- GW Party


Thursday, February 15, 2007

Ahh stereotypes, our other bread and butter at Eavesdropdc.

Guy: Man, I have a ton of friends who are Asian. But watch out, if you touch one of them on the head, they'll kill you.

-- Farragut West Metro


Don't reach out and touch someone

Girl on phone: "I think at heart I'm a prude. I probably should have lived in Victorian times. I would have been a great Victorian."


Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Hi Neighbor

Girl: "I'm like Mister Rogers. I change my style twice a day."

-Farragut North

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Not a snow day :(

Headquarters of the Department of Homeland Security (Nebraska Avenue Complex), on the frigid morning of Monday, 5 February 2007. Longstanding office whiner approaches a senior manager in his office to talk about the relative chill (maybe about 55) in the workspaces.

Whiner: The weather conditions in here are unacceptable.
Manager: Huh?
Whiner: This office has been climatically compromised, and I have to go home to be warm, and with full pay.
Manager: Sorry, that's not an option.
Whiner: Well, then, I deserve hazard pay for working under these conditions.
Manager: Again, I'm sorry, but that's not going to happen.
Whiner: (more agitated) Well fine! But I don't like being cold! (stomps off to cube)
Manager: Neither do I.


Monday, February 12, 2007

The newest DC style magazine

Girl: She went to beauty school, so she thinks she's a cosmopolitician or something.


Thursday, February 08, 2007

Don't you mean money for pussy?

College guy talking to his friend in line at Starbucks:
"All of my plans involve either money or pussy"

--E St. Starbucks

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

I think I'll suffer the migrane, thanks.

Guy to friend: "I have a really bad headache."

Friend: "You know what cures that? SODOMY!"

--Sandwich bar at Balducci's New Mexico Ave.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Where'd you get your PhD, Cheech? Drug school?

International Relations Professor: "If I was to go to San Diego, or any city I've never been to, give me 24 hours and I could tell you, what, where, by whom, and how much the drugs are sold for...[long pause]...and, depending on the drug, perhaps even the quality."


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Too soon?

Guy 1: "Drinking the Kool-aid" is such an misused phrase. It's even
become corporate speak. Don't people realize that it's a reference to
the death of 1000 people?

Guy 2: Yeah, next thing you know, they'll be saying, "We're going to
offer a holocaust of savings."

--Golden Triangle

Thursday, February 01, 2007

To Kill a Leaking Bird

"We went to the Libby trial all day yesterday - it was fantastic. Fitzgerald IS Atticus Finch."
--Foggy Bottom