Thursday, November 30, 2006

You had me at menthol.

Fugly chick: "Do y'all smoke?"

Handsome man: "No, I'm sorry, I just quit. You can have our ash tray, though."

Fugly chick: "Naw, I just wanted to bum a cig."

Handsome man: "That guy over there just lit up like 10 minutes ago."

Fugly chick: "Sweet, are they menthols?"

Handome man: [blank stare]

--Buffalo Billiards

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

More from GW's best and brightest

College Boy 1: Whats it going to be like when someone figures out how to divide by zero?

College Boy 2: You can't, that's undefined.

CB1: Yeah but when they can define it...

CB2: No, that's like turning apples into pears.

CB1: I've done that before.

--Foggy Bottom


Dame! Wish I was your lover!

Overheard coming out of Casino Royale in Georgetown where moviegoers were given a brief one page survey to complete after seeing the movie.

Girl (reading question): What made me come see this movie?

Guy: Oh, choose Judi Dench... you like strong independent women.


This "the google" thing is pretty sweet!

Boy1: Dude, theres a trick to growing really good weed like that.
Boy2: What is it?
Boy1: When its just starting to grow, expose it to white wine. When it
starts to flower, expose it to red wine.
Boy 2: Shit man. Where did you learn that?
Boy 1: Google.

--Foggy Bottom

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving from Eavesdrop DC (unless you are a vegetarian)

Two women were talking in L'Enfant Plaza:

"I am trying to make my family eat healthier. That is why one night I week I don't cook anything but vegetarian vegetables."

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

We've been meaning to post something - but the droppings haven't been penis-centric enough for us this week

Guy in the midst of telling his friend how much better Italy is than America:
"I mean, I could just get an espresso anytime of the day, it's just not a morning thing over there."
--at 7 pm as ordering an espresso at Starbucks

Monday, November 20, 2006

Those who can't do . . .

Guy: "I started in aeronautical engineering. Got a 0.9 for my first semester and realized this just wasn't working out. So I switched to education."

-- Clarendon


Friday, November 17, 2006

Gus-gus, it's not even in Urban Dictionary yet. We love it!

Girl: I really want to take this jacket off but I'm pulling a "gus-gus" today.
Guy: What's a "gus-gus?"
Girl: You know how in Cinderella that put too-small clothes on Gus-Gus and they roll up and hit him in the face?

Girl: I am SO not a catch.

-- Starbucks, Fairlington

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Penis day continues at eavesdropdc

"I just saw a homeless man's penis in the park."

--Foggy Bottom

That was my argument to the cops, but they still cited me...

Guy and Girl looking through Manga racks at Borders in Crystal City:

Girl: I just love watching beautiful boys make out.
Guy: Ew. Why do you like porn so much?
Girl: This isn't porn. They're just making out.
Guy: They have their penises out.
Girl: But they aren't doing anything with them.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

As Spider-Man would say, "With great power comes great inebriation."

Man in navy power suit on mobile phone: “Power IS intoxicating.”

--crossing 15th street, NW towards the treasury building and white house

I'm Ted Nugent, and I approve this message

Woman: Are you a vegetarian?
Man: Are you kidding me? I don't eat things I can't kill.

-- The Burro

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

No, he just took me walking.

Older man in tux: "So...what were you doing with the preacher's son when you were 13?"
Very drunk middle-aged woman in formal gown slurs: "MAKING OUUUUUUUTTTT!"
Older man: " least you admit it!"

--Outside the Willard Hotel at midnight

Just tonight?

Girl to friends: “I'm a 'butter face' tonight.”

-- Entering the Black Cat

Monday, November 13, 2006

Just ask Magnum the Rooster.

Guy to friend: "Chickens have urges too!"

More like a bat out of hell. . .

(Non-Jewish) Guy to Jewish girl: "I've decided that the question is not so much whether I'm going to hell, as how fast I'm going to get there. Like, will it be bullet train, or hot air balloon? Wait, do we even believe in hell?"

-- Clarendon


Yo, is Shaniqua there?

Teenage boy: "Yo, can you give me your change to support my community basketball team?"

Professional Female: "Sorry, no."

Teenage boy: "’d like to call you sometime."

Professional Female: "How old are you?"

Teenage Boy: "16. I can take you out for a drink."

Professional Female: "With your milk money?"

--Chipotle on 7th Street in Chinatown

Monday, November 06, 2006

Have you ever crossed zones ......... ON WEED?

Friend to cab driver: "Do you mind if I smoke?"
Cab Driver: "What are you doing to smoke?"
Friend: "A cigarette."
Cab Driver: "No, no cigarettes in this cab. I thought you might have wanted to smoke a joint."
Friend: "And that would have been okay with you?"
Cab Driver: "As long as I could take a hit."

--Cab ride from Chinatown to Foggy Bottom

Friday, November 03, 2006

Heroin chic is so 5 minutes ago. Give me a meth addict any day.

Guy1: That girl's kinda cute.
Guy2: What?! She looks like a recovering heroin addict!
Guy1: Yea. Exactly.

--Foggy Bottom


Thursday, November 02, 2006

Yeah, but white men still can't jump

Girl: "He's so skinny, that's why he's faster than Brian."
Guy: "That doesn't matter. I watched last year and fat people were running just as fast as the skinny people. It was crazy."
Girl: "Fat people can run a marathon?"

--Somewhere in DC

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Halle Berry's black, but she's not black, y'know?

Two people discussing the Gallaudet protests:

Guy: Yeah, it would be like Howard appointing a white dude as president.
Girl: Yeah, I have a lot of sympathy for them. I mean, that woman isn't even deaf. I mean, yeah, she's deaf, but not deaf, y'know?

--9:30 Club, Decemberists show

Tuck and roll, Grandma, tuck and roll

Girl on cell phone: "Well, just bitch slap your grandma and tell her you're doing it anyway!"

--Foggy Bottom