Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Kids say the darndest things.

Little Boy: Mom, can we rent Passion of the Christ?
Mom: No.
Little Boy: But Mooooommm, I want to see the Jews crucify Jesus!

--Georgetown Blockbuster


You never forget your first time.

Girl: That guy has a bong! That's awesome! I've never seen one before! Usually I'm just like hey, I smell pot.

-Virgin Music Festival


Monday, September 25, 2006

That crack that we beat up a hobo for was pretty cheap too.

In line at the Spout Run Giant:

"Man, Tony really got a good deal on that keg he stole."


Down here we just call them crazy bitches.

Guy to friends: Things are so different here than in Pennsylvania. Girls mouth off here for no reason but you couldn't get away with that shit in Pennsylvania, cause they'll get slapped."

-- Dupont Circle


Hey Switzerland, can you hear me now?

Part of a recent conversation with a customer service rep from Verizon regarding changes to eavesdropper's residential phone service:

Verizon CSR: "This new plan includes long distance and international calling, however international calls are charged."

Eavesdropper: "So, if I want to call my friends in Switzerland, you’ll charge me for that?"

Verizon CSR: "Is that in the United States?"

Eavesdropper: "Um, no. That’s in Europe."

Verizon CSR: "Oh....

Friday, September 22, 2006

Hey, it's the weekend. Have you asked God to smite someone today?

Woman outside of church: "Goddamnit. GOD DAMN IT! What is with you always parking the church van in front of my car like that. If you don't move that God damn thing I'm going to strike you down boy."

-- A church near Eastern Market

If you don't submit, the terrorists win!

Friend of EavesdropDC: "You guys, what's up with Eavesdrop this week?"
Eavesdrop Founders 1 and 2: "People haven't sent anything in!!!"
Friend: "I mean, what's this? Seven since September 11th?!"
Eavesdrop Founder 3: "Oh, so now you're going to blame the terrorists."

-EavesdropDC Offices


Thursday, September 21, 2006

Who's zoomin' who?

Girl, to guy at end of frustrated monologue:

"My whore phase has gone totally awry!!"

-- No location given, but this could be any Hill staffer.


Tuesday, September 19, 2006

{Ralph Wiggum voice} Smells like burning

The smell of brakes fills the air as passengers exit and more passengers board the train.

Woman 1: What's that smell?
Woman 2: I think that's what it smells like when the train's burning.



Monday, September 18, 2006

Eavesdrop DC's continuing coverage of issues in race and ethnicity

Girl: Until a few months ago I considered myself 100% percent Italian.
Guy: Did your ethnicity change?
Girl: Yeah, I'm 50% Lithuanian now.

--Orange Line

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

She's so ugly that they have to tie meat around her neck to get dogs to play with her.

Guy: I don't like Meredith Viera.
Girl: I don't have a strong opinion on her.
Guy: I don't like her face.

-- Foggy Bottom

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Thank god for the Metro or we'd have no material.

Little Boy: Momma, why won't you let go of my hand?
Mom: I'm TRYING to keep you from gettin' squished in the escalator! You better watch out! Shiiiit....

-- Mom with young son getting on the escalator at Metro Center during morning rush hour.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Eavesdrop DC is not afraid to tackle issues of race in America.

(Guy 2 drops some Cornel West knowledge on Girl and Guy 1, all are white.)
Girl: How did you know that?
Guy 1: His little brother is black.
Guy 2: Yeah, we get the newsletter.

-- Eavesdrop DC Headquarters

John Wayne says, "I never trust a man that doesn't drink." Eavesdrop DC doesn't either.

Guy Lobbyist: "Have you heard that President Bush is channeling John Wayne?"
Girl Passing By: "I love the Duke."
Guy: "But the Duke didn't encounter Islamo-Fascists"
Girl: "If he had, he would have known what to do."

--Dupont Circle


Saturday, September 09, 2006

I do not like them Sam I am, I do not like Green Eggs and Ham

Guy on cell phone: "Hi, I'm downstairs .... no no no, well, I'm downstairs ... do you want to let me come upstairs so we can talk, or do you want to go down to the car? ... No no no, I know why you're upset .... this is about the fried egg incident, isn't it?"


And apparently, this fall, people will be wearing 80s clothes in the 00s

Little Boy: "Mommy...did people wear 70s clothes at the end of the 60s?"

--Old Town, Alexandria:

Friday, September 08, 2006

"You can repel homeless people too, with my new patented spray - Bum-Off."

Girl to guy: Does it ever bother you when homeless people don't ask you for money? Because that happens to me a lot.

-- Georgetown

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Beer + tree stump + nails + hammer = WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!

Mid-twenties girl #1: "We used to play a lot of beirut in college"
Mid-twenties girl #2: "We had this drinking game we used to play. We would get a tree stump and put it in someones room. Then, we'd each put a nail it in. Then, we threw a hammer up in the air, caught it and then hit a nail with it. The last one to have their nail hit had to drink. We didn't play it that often"

-- Orange Line - L'Enfant.


Thursday, September 07, 2006

TMI cubed

Girl to guy she just met in the lunch queue (I heard her introducingherself): "My friend's mom is a sex therapist. That bitch must eatnails for breakfast or something because she's made a LOT of peoplecry."

Two minutes later...

"I'm a twin. When I was born I was 8 pound 3 ounces and my sister was 7 pound 14 ounces. My mom's only 5 foot 1 so we nearly split her in half."

-- Quiznos at GW.


Millard Fillmore was a shady son of a bitch

Guy 1: “The Republicans can’t control Congress this long. History shows they’re going to lose control this year.”
Guy 2: “Well, dude, don’t forget, the Whigs ran this shit for years.”


Pythons and E-wees Oh MY!

Woman shouting to husband: "Oh My goodness...Honey! Look!...That python ate a whole E-we"

-- On the bus today reading about the python eating a pregnant ewe in the Express eye openers.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Sweet dreams of rhythm and dancing, Sweet dreams of passion through the night ... Oh wait, that was LaBouche.

Group of LaRouche people are handing out anti-Rumsfeld pamphlets to commuters getting off the metro escalator

LaRouche girl to commuter: "HEY! You don't have to roll your eyes!"

-Foggy Bottom/GW Metro Stop

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Every time I see those penguins I get the shivers.

Two annoying teenage tourist girls, in the midst of complaining about how they don't know how anyone knows where they're going in this town because the train conductors don't enunciate, fall into awed silence as a Muslim woman wearing a niqab exits the train.

Girl #1: What do you think she was?
Girl #2: I don't know - a nun?


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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

We're not in it for the money... but please buy our eavesdropdc t-shirts. -------->

Commenting on the Jesus and sneeze guard google ads...

Eavesdropdc Co-founder: We have a lot of things about weed on here, how come our ads aren't about "how to pass a drug test"?

-- Eavesdropdc offices

DC: The land of eternal Debbie Downers. (wah-wah)

Girl to guy: My boss is back in town today, school starts, traffic sucks, all the seriously boring people are back. Today is not going to be fun.
Guy: Yea, it seems the weather is in on it too. Because I needed a reminder that summer is over.

-- Metro Center

Welcome back GW students.

Homeless Guy to girl: "Hey, they're gonna kick you out of school for sucking too much dick!"

Virgina Avenue by the Watergate