Wednesday, October 31, 2007

A double dose of drag race droppings

1. Outside of fox and the hound, 17th street drag race:
Very drunk gay man to other very drunk gay man: we should call my dad!

2. a gay gentleman, who was squeezing his way through a packed crowd of gay and straight spectators: "God, this tolerance thing has gone too far."

Funny with street names! Er, state names. Uh, go Tarheels?

walking home, a guy in his car stops, rolls down the window, and asks me (in a heavy southern accent):
How do I get to North Carolina?
me thinking hard: umm, i think you need to get the I-95 South.
him: no, i mean north carolina avenue.
me: OH!

2nd street NE

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

How about you just go with skankalicious?

Girl to her friend: "You need to tell me if my outfit tonight should be boobalicious or backalicious."



Monday, October 29, 2007

It is enough for me

Cross-Dressing Friend 1: "You can't wear open-toed high heels when you're supposed to be playing a man!
Cross-Dressing Friend 2: But I want to have at least one thing that's girly!
Non-Cross-Dressing Friend 3: You have a vagina! Isn't that enough?

Send us your Halloween eavesdrops!

We know you were out on the town last weekend (and will be again on Wed). Send us your best eavesdrops of slutty nurses, zombies, and gay Dumbledores!

Friday, October 26, 2007

I heart Spot Conlon. Brooklyn!!!

Dude: He likes Newsies because he's kind of homosexual.

-- 2000 Penn

Are we talking flash memory or those cards you turn over and match cute animals and stuff?

30's something Techy guy on the phone: I want rice and memory cards for Christmas. (pause) RICE and MEMORY CARDS. (pause) YES.

--National Zoo

Thursday, October 25, 2007

It's a Halle Berry kind of day.

Youngish, black, male waiter at Vapiano's: "Wooo, I'm as tired as a Hebrew slave."

-Dupont Circle

Be careful, you don't want to end up like Halle Berry

A middle-aged couple is commenting on various Halloween yard decorations. The man complains about a set of scarecrows. The woman complains that her companion is a "Scrooge."

Man: Scrooge is for Christmas.

Woman: Exactly. You're a Scrooge and it's only Halloween.

Man: What do you mean? I love Christmas.

Woman: Who doesn't love Christmas.

Man (after a short pause): Um....the Jews.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Uh, you should really get that checked out

Crackhead, to friend: "I didn' shit fo' a whole year ..."
Friend: Word.

14th and F

You had me at slutty.

Girl: "I hope I never get old so I never have to stop dressing slutty. [pause] My mom would be so proud of me."

--Bar, Capitol Hill

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Monday, October 22, 2007

Expecto Patronum, Bitches!

While the train was stopped between Metro Center and McPherson Square and the lights in our car went out...young child:
"Does this mean the dementors are coming??"


Friday, October 19, 2007

We're guessing the topic was Britney and her kids

"It matters mommy! Like presidents are talking about it and stuff."

-American University Student on the Shuttle

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Moving on up, to the SW side...

Middle-aged Wife: "Oh honey look! It's the George Jefferson Memorial."
Middle-aged Husband: "Seriously. You are such an idiot."

~Tidal Basin

Monday, October 15, 2007

No, you suck. Get over yourself.

Girl: Yeah, so my grandpa? He was in the Holocaust, and, like, every time he talks about it, I wanna say, "Ok, it sucked! Get over it!"
Other Girls: Yeah!
Guy: I know, right!


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Saturday, October 13, 2007

Wait, you can diagnose STDs by sight?

Co-Worker 1: "You don’t look so good today."

Co-Worker 2: "I’ll try not to take that too personally."

Co-Worker 1: "No--I just mean in that, 'I have a disease' kind of way."

--M Street

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Let's be honest, you didn't have to dig too deep

Two attractive, late 30s women sitting in the bar in Morton's.

Blonde woman: "So was it nice?"
Brunette woman: "It was weird at first but it was great in the end."
Blonde: "Weird?"
Brunette: "I let him hypnotize me."
Blonde: "Whaaaat?"
Brunette: "Had the same reaction...but oh my God was it hot...I was a dirty bitch."
Blonde: "But you're a Republican!"
Brunette: "He got to my inner dirty bitch."

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

The female stands apart from the herd - her bright plumage and excessive cleavage indicates she is searching for a mate...

A group of college-aged girls, overheard at Blocktoberfest: "Let's discuss: If you want to meet men, stand by yourself."


Tuesday, October 09, 2007

But we were told that your underwear would treat us as liberators!

Girl to roommate: "I hate my dresser more than the Iraq war."

Saturday, October 06, 2007

I used to say "don't go there," but that's lame.

Girl, on her phone at a restaurant on Pennsylvania Ave, NW:

"We're trying to get pregnant... It's too bad you can't get pregnant through your mouth."

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Somebody, or your right hand? And ew.

Overweight Teen: "Yo man, violence ain't cool. Unless, of course,
you're cock slapping somebody"

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

But is the cat ribbed?

Girl to Roommate: Oh by the way, all the "shared pleasure" condoms
are gone in the bathroom. I mean I feel awk. coming back in the room
with a "her pleasure", I mean its not ALWAYS all about me.

Roommate: So for you "shared pleasure" is like getting a cat together

Monday, October 01, 2007

Amazingly, we suspect that not much will change in 20 years

Overheard in a richie Potomac suburb. Two kids, 9-10 years old, hand-in-hand:

Little boy: "What kind of car do you want when we get married?"
Little girl: "A BMW!"
Little boy: "OK!"

Getting jiggy with it > asian financial meltdown

"So, I was watching on VH1 last night, a program called I love the 90s Part Deux.... And they reported on the Clinton years, movies like Independence Day, music, and all sorts of interesting pop-culture and historical anecdotes... but they failed to mention the Asian financial crisis and the subsequent meltdowns of the Russian, Brazilian, and Argentinean crisis. So I wrote a letter to VH1 complaining about their programming. Moral of the story: I watch too much television."

- GW History Professor