Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Don't you mean Le Rugrats en Paris?

Overheard on the Metro Red Line:

Guy 1: Oui!

Guy 2: What is that?

Guy 1: It's French.

Guy 2: Are you sure?

Guy 1: Yeah! I totally learned that shit from the Rugrats in Paris movie!


Friday, November 20, 2009

Damn those trick questions.

Northern Virginia:

Guy #1: So, you didn't get the job?
Guy #2: No, but now the CIA thinks I have sex with goats.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

I bet it's the ones that sparkle.

Overheard on a neighboring table in a Chili's in Crystal City...

Girl: "But are there gay vampires?"

Guy: "Sure. Probably about one in ten."

Monday, November 16, 2009

I 100% agree with this.

An intense office conversation at the headquarters of a national intelligence agency, on popular culture:
"Elmo is the Jar-Jar Binks of Sesame Street."

Friday, November 13, 2009

Whatever, Richard

Intern to group of interns: I had a teacher who called me a schmuck once. I didn't know what it meant, so I looked it up and went up to her and said, did you know that you just called me a penis?

-- McPherson Square

Friday, November 06, 2009

Yes and I'm on the value menu!

On the Metro Halloween night.

Girl dressed as a crayon fanning herself sees at a guy dressed as a Taco Bell Fire sauce packet and noticed that both of their costumes were made of the same material. She looks at him and asked, "excuse me, but are you hot?"