Friday, May 30, 2008

Sent in February 12

GW prof: so, now, if you wanted to go build a shanty town on the mall to protest something or whatever, you could.

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Sent in April 3

Girl 1 : What - did he think I was going to let him have sex with me??
Girl 2: ... Or choke you?

University of Maryland


Sent in February 24

barista 1: (telling a story). now, this is the same friend who faked cancer.
barista 2: (dumb stare)
barista 1: but the guy who faked cancer, he did it for a girl. so then she faked a pregnancy to get back at him.


Sent in March 16

A conversation between a customer (who was wearing a soviet hockey jersey) and a waitress at matchbox last week, before the caps-flames game.

waitress: cccp? who's that?
customer: it's the soviet union.
waitress: oh, are they playing the caps tonight?

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Sent in February 28

Overheard at GW Law school - lounge - table of males and females:

Girl 1: "Study says that spanking leads to riskier sexual behaviors!"
Male 1: "Do they mean spanking during childhood or spanking during adult hood?"
Girl 2: "I don't know, both seem to apply to me... from personal experience..."

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Sent in April 2

"There's a lot of things I hate."

A note from our eavesdropper - this is the only thing I know about this person I passed in Dupont Circle.

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It's clean out our inbox day at Eavesdrop DC!

Every day we get a bunch of eavesdrops that fall through the cracks. Our day jobs get in the way, we can't think of subject lines that do them justice, etc. Today we're going to post a bunch that we've been sitting on for awhile. Sorry it took us so long!


Thursday, May 29, 2008

Not gay at all

Two men in mid 30's getting in line at Beacon Bar n Grill in Dupont on Sunday for brunch

Man 1: I want some sausage
Man 2: You always want some sausage in you


I'm sure that you're having a "skinny" wreck.

In Potbelly's, eating lunch. Next table over.

Girl: She totally thinks you're cute
Guy: Tell her to call me in 30lbs

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Someone is looking out for you metro riders

After extensive orange/blue line delays, shortly before Rosslyn (I think) with a packed train:

Orange line: "Please passengers, when we arrive at a platform and you are close to a door, please step off of the train and wait for customers to exit the train before you reenter. I promise I'll wait until everyone has boarded the train. Here at Metro, this is No Passenger Left Behind Day."


Beggars CAN be choosers

Girl walking out of a restaurant with a pizza box in her hand decides to offer it to a homeless guy outside the restaurant:

Girl: Hey, you want the rest of this pizza?
Bum: Hmmm, what toppings you got?
Girl: (mumbles toppings...didn't catch this)
Bum: (long pause) Nah, that's okay.


Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Some people are so unreasonable.

Guy on Cell at Georgetown University.

"She's pissed at you? ... Well, personally, I think it is about time that she gets over it. Just because you ran over her with the car doesn't mean she can still be so upset with you. For God's sake, you took her to all her doctor's appointments, paid for all the medical bills and medications, and are still even making her dinner. She can be rather ungrateful. She is so drugged up right now, are you sure she is still pissed? Could it be the drugs?"


Friday, May 23, 2008

Soulja Boy was never invited to another Nats game

Girl at Nationals Park

"I don't think the 'Superman's' that's weird. People ejaculate in random places all the time"


Thursday, May 22, 2008

Liar or Lost?

Guy on cell: "I can't right now, I'm in Silver Spring."

-- Giant, Columbia Heights

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

You should nominate her for MILF Island

Guy #1: "I know my mom's hot, okay?!"
Guy #2: (silence)

--Orange Line Metro


Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I understand. My boyfriend has a bus pass.

Scene: Man trying to exit Gallery Place metro station, but having trouble getting his metro card into the turnstiles. One woman on the outside is making fun of him, another scolds her.

"Don't be making fun of him for not knowing how to exit the metro! That's how you know he's got wheels!"


Monday, May 19, 2008

Liam Neeson is the anti-Viagra

On the corner of 22nd and G (GWU):

Girl on phone: "Yeah, he couldn't get it up, so we just watched "Schindler's List" instead."

Friday, May 16, 2008

Have you learned the language? They speak yuppie there.

First Women: When we moved into Arlington it was very hard for us; it felt like we were moving into a foreign world!
Second Women: Oh my gosh, I can only imagine

--19th & L

Thursday, May 15, 2008

The color of water.

Metro Rail Conductor: "Whatever you do, wherever you go, just tell 'em Darryl sent you. This is the Blue line, of course. The color of water."

--Metro, between Farragut West and McPherson Square


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I'm $14.99, pants not included

In the US Capitol:

twenty-something girl to another twenty-something girl:

"Do you come with the shirt on or off?"


Monday, May 12, 2008

I have the poooooowwwwwwweeeerrrrrrr!

drunk guy 1: "you know, this is why the rest of the world hates us."
drunk guy 2: "let them hate us! you know why? cause we're a fucking POWERHOUSE."



Friday, May 09, 2008

Another day, another dig at another city

Girl hugging a guy ...

Girl: Eew, you smell like vagina.
Guy: Oh, no that's just Philadelphia.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Take that NY! We're, uh, quieter.

Two 30 something guys sitting outside eating lunch:

Guy 1: You know why New York is the city that never sleeps?
Guy 2: Why?
Guy 1: Cause you can't fucking sleep there, too much god damn noise and lights

--24 and M

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

I'm getting my master's degree in mayhem

Two girls in Politics and Prose talking about classes they're taking:

Girl 1: Oh yeah and then there's Murder and Genocide.
Girl 2: That sounds AWESOME!
Girl 1: I know, right!

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

A French maid costume, for sure.

20-something girl: So, like...what should I wear to the French Embassy?

Friend: Something totally sexy, for sure.

Wisconsin Ave., Georgetown


Monday, May 05, 2008

The pipe bomb is for hunting deer

Two teenage boys in band shirts on the Dupont Circle escalator:
Teen #1: I mean, just because I own a gun doesn't mean I mean any harm
Teen #2: Yeah, just because I build a pipe bomb doesn't mean I mean any harm


I need something that accentuates the crack

A skater looking guy with baggy pants talking to his friend while getting off the train at Metro Center:

Skater guy: I'm not into the Uni butt.
Friend: The what?
Skater guy: You know, it's like a uni brow, except a butt.
Friend: What are you talking about?
Skater guy: I am just giving my commentary on how style has effected my life.


Friday, May 02, 2008

Where does South Dakota fit?

"dude, south america and south africa are like totally the same thing"

"no they're has latinos and the other has african americans"

"whatever jose"

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Where we're going we don't need roads!

-Parking lot, NOVA Annandale Campus-

Early 20-something slacker guy: The future, man! There's enough future for the rest of our lives!