I'm hoping for some Potbelly's ads on the site...

Overheard on Capitol Hill: "Oh, that crazy blind guy is crossing the street. What a train wreck. Well, a car wreck, but still....

It's for your protection. Those books bite.

"Why are we going in a cage?"

- Female teeny bopper, on entering the glass-encased viewing area above the Great Reading Room at the Library of Congress

This job sounds pretty legen . . . wait for it . . . and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!

Overheard in a certain library on the Hill.

Early-20-something researcher to late-20-something editor:
"You know, the hours [a certain library on the Hill] pays you while you watch bootleg movies and episodes of "How I Met You Mother" is basically your share of the stimulus plan."

hehe - your mom's a dude.

Guy screaming at another guy while getting thrown out of a bar:
Guy 1: I'm going to kick your ass!
Guy getting thrown out: You know what? I'm going to shove my mother's dick up your ass!

He couldn't live without her

Eastern Market at lunch time
One girl is standing at the bus stop and sees her friend walk by.

Girl 1: Hey girl, what's up how's your summer? You still runnin' 'round with that bad boy?
Girl 2: Oh no, he dead.
Girl 1: He dead?! No! He dead? When?
Girl 2: Few weeks ago. It don't matter. We weren't goin' out no more.

Tiger Woods is a beast.

Female Hill Staffer: "Why is Tiger wearing red and black again?"

Male Hill Staffer: "It must be his 'Championship' colors because he always wears it on Sunday"

Female Hill Staffer: "He probably wears it when he knows he's taking bitches down too"

--the Hill

I'm $14.99, pants not included

In the US Capitol:

twenty-something girl to another twenty-something girl:

"Do you come with the shirt on or off?"

Yes...those columns can be confusing

At the Capitol building Tuesday around 1:15 pm.

Tourist Woman in her 30s, pointing to the Supreme Court: "Oh, and there's the Lincoln Memorial!"

Some of my best friends are Islamics.

Outside the Hart Senate Office Bldg last night around 6:30....two older 50ish "suits" walking out of bldg:

Suit 1: You know, I don't even know any Islamics, or Islamic people, I just don't.
Suit 2: Yeah, and I've never been to any Islamic countries. I guess don't really know any Islamics either.

only in DC, and only on the Hill

Hill staffer talking on the phone: "...you should leave work early, there's probably going to be State of the Union traffic..."

--Capitol Hill

You and me both, man.

Guy in line for ATM: "Man, I'm bilingual. I'm fluent in Ebonics and bullshit!"

--Bank of America, Capitol Hill

You had me at slutty.

Girl: "I hope I never get old so I never have to stop dressing slutty. [pause] My mom would be so proud of me."

--Bar, Capitol Hill

I feel so safe.

Drunk guy: "I took my mandatory online terrorism training today . . . I totally failed it, dude."

-Bar, Capitol Hill

Baltimore - new fashion capital of the world

Guy: You know what I'm going to do? I'm bringing back the safari hat. Tomorrow I'm wearing a safari hat to work.
Girl: That's so Baltimore.

-- The Hill

S&M gear - so that's where all his money's been going...

Female intern-types guzzling blue margaritas:

1: Bet McCain's into S&M.
2: I can see that.
1: Ever see the veins in McCain's head? They throb all day. I had a boyfriend like that.
2: Did he want to smack you around?
1: He wanted me to smack him around
2 Did you?
1: Psh. I am sooo not maternal.

--Hyatt Regency bar, Capitol Hill

Not to be confused with pork barrel (also prevalent on Capitol Hill and sounds much cooler than it really is)

Heard last night on Capitol Hill

Guy: I don't understand, what is "pork roll"?
Jersey Girl: It's hard to explain...It's like, if bacon married awesome and they had delicious babies

Who's zoomin' who?

Girl, to guy at end of frustrated monologue:

"My whore phase has gone totally awry!!"

-- No location given, but this could be any Hill staffer.

So that explains all Hill staffers

Guy: DC is a place for people who didn’t want to leave college but knew they needed to make some money somehow.

-- 3rd and Mass, poolside.

I've got a better offer -- I'll give you 100 camels!

Crazy Guy on the street to young girl's father: "I will give you one million dollars for the girl."
Father: "I might be interested if I really thought he had it."

--The Hill

You are what you wear...

Girl # 1: Hey this is my friend (didn't catch the name).
Drunk guy: Hey.
Girl # 1: Hey doesn't (name) just look hot? Not everyone can wear green but she can.
Drunk guy: Yeah she can. (to girl in green) It makes you look like a slut.
Girl in green: Uh...
Drunk guy: No!! You've got a great personality, too.

-- Capitol hill bar