G-E-L-L-O just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Man yelling into cell phone: "No, I'm on G Street! G street! G as in Jello!"

Overheard on G St.

Now THAT is a huge waste of oreos.

Two kids were throwing what we believed to be rocks at a first-story window. Finally, the window opened and a GW student poked his head out.

Rock-Throwing Kid: Good. I didn't want to have to throw another Oreo.

--Outside Ivory Tower, 23rd and G

Darwin Awards material?

Dude 1: Yo, ___ lost his credit card last night, and he left his id at home, he's already on his way here.
Dude 2: Man, that kid is a mess. He really hasn't been the same since he fell off of that car.

-- Ballston

And Chad too? Right?

Young woman, discussing new potential boyfriend: "His name is Jordan."

Her dinner companion, a young man: "Isn't Jordan a country or something?"

-Ruby Tuesday

So you got a website huh?

Frat Guy #1: So, I finally got the website up and running.

Frat Guy #2: Oh? Really? What's on it?

Frat Guy #1: Oh, nothing so far. It just has a "Coming Soon" banner at the top.

Frat Guy #2: Oh, nice.

--Washington Square

Next year is totally going to be our emotional year.

Office worker : "I need to know if we have any outstanding invoices because it's the end of our physical year."

--somewhere in DC (don't forget to send in your location with your eavesdrops!)

I know you are, but what am I?

Four drunk guys discussing percentages.

"You guys are idiots. What kind of math camp did you go to? 1 in 20 is totally 20%!"

--Red Line Metro

Wait, I thought we got Mexico when we got Texas?

US Airways counter:

Ticket Agent: "Good morning sir. How can I help you?"

Man: "[Gives last name] party of two, 7:45 flight going to Cancun. I think the flight goes through Charlotte."

Ticket Agent: "Ok, sir, can I see your passports, please?"

Man: "Passports?"

Ticket Agent: "Yes sir, I need to see your passports."

Man: "I gave you our drivers licenses."

Ticket Agent: "Sir, you have to have passports for all international travel."

Man: "We're going to Cancun. "That's not international travel."

Ticket Agent: "Sir, Cancun is in Mexico. That's international travel."

Man: "Since when?"

--one of the DC airports (send us details people!)

You mean Poughkeepsie, New York, right?

Guy with friend flagrantly jaywalking across 23rd & L St NW during afternoon rush hour:

"See that's what I hate about DC; in New York the cars would stop for
you, but here they'll just run you over"

Double Platinum Douche Bag

I was walking outside the Mayflower Hotel when I could not help but overhear this conversational gem from one of an obnoxious trio:

"Big Daddy's gonna be DOUBLE PLATINUM after this business trip!!"

I feel so safe.

Drunk guy: "I took my mandatory online terrorism training today . . . I totally failed it, dude."

-Bar, Capitol Hill

I believe the word you are looking for is "si."

Flight attendant: "Gentlemen, you are seated in an emergency exit row. I'm going to need you to read over this information about your responsibilities in the event of an evacuation. I need a vocal response from each of you that you speak English and you are comfortable with these responsibilities."

White Dude 1: "Yes."

Black Dude 1: "Yes."

White Dude 2: "Yes."

White Dude 3: "Yes."

White Dude 4: "Hola."

Reagan National, on a flight to New Orleans

Yeah, Bush actually went to Loompaland and brought back hundreds of Oompa-Loompas.

Asian Dude #1: So, how many people work in the White House? 10?
Asian Dude #2: Way more than that.
Asian Dude #1: 100?
Asian Dude #2: Probably at least.
Asian Dude #1: I wasn't counting the slaves.
Asian Dude #2: Uh-huh.
Asian Dude #1: It looks like a plantation. I know they've got slaves in there.

--Lafayette Park, lunchtime

Math is not your forte, brah

Brah #1: 8 Bucks for a Fuckin Beer, that's ridiculous
Brah #2: Dude, it's 24 oz
Brah #1: Oh, That's ok then.
(Pause)
Brah #1: Dude, that's great actually, that's like the same size as a 40
Brah #2: Yeah man, I love Old E

--Merriweather at the Manu Chao/Thievery Corp show

I hear Pop Rocks and soda cures cancer

Late 20's Frat Star #1: "Yeah dude, I really need to get my stuff together. I've already graduated college and I still live like I'm in college"

Late 20's Frat Star #2: "Yeah, don't mess around and end up like Jon, he's about to have a second kid. Both of them were mistakes"

L20'sFS#1: "Yeah, I always make the girls I have sex with stand on their heads after. I'm so glad that urban legend is true"

L20'sFS#2: "Ha-ha, yeah I always make the girls I hook up with do post-coital jumping jacks"

D6 Metro Bus

Adrian! Rocky! Adrian! Rocky! Lincoln?

Lincoln Memorial steps.

Two tourists (men) are walking up the steps. One starts running up the stairs singing the Rocky theme song. He finally gets to the top and starts spinning around, waving arms up in the air and still singing. His friend finally arrives and shakes his head at him.

Tourist 1: "Dude, wrong steps. Wrong city."

Washington DC: A Place to be Some(poor)body

Asian dude to girl: When I lived in Hong Kong, I was very wealthy and upper class. I had two chauffeurs and a chef. I just didn't want to be rich anymore, that's why I chose to move to DC.

-- 18th Street Lounge

Trust the Gorton's fisherman

Drunk guy #1: Mmmm, pizza ... no, fishsticks! Wait, who's the guy that makes those fishsticks?
Drunkguy #2: Mrs. Paul?
Drunk guy #3: No, no -- it's that Gorton dude.
Drunk guy #1: From the wharf to your freezer!
Drunk guy #2: FISHSTICK PIZZA!
-Orange line, 9:30 pm