Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Unlike you.

In Forever 21 fitting room, at Pentagon City:

Teenage girl 1: Oh my god, I hate you, everything looks good on you.
Teenage girl 2: No, not really, I just get the right size.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Century fail.

Archives security guard talking about the Declaration of Independence, Bill of Rights and US Constitution:
"No flash phototgraphy. No white light of any kind. It will damage the parchment. All of these documents are the originals from the 17th century..."
--National Archives

Thursday, May 21, 2009

It's the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine)

"Yeah, see he's a Christian and he's does all this youth ministry stuff so I'm just gonna read the whole thing and catch up!"

-Woman buying a copy of 'The Complete Idiots Guide to the Book of Revelation" at Safeway

Friday, May 15, 2009

G-E-L-L-O just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Man yelling into cell phone: "No, I'm on G Street! G street! G as in Jello!"

Overheard on G St.


Thursday, May 14, 2009

You need to get out more

Two girls are walking through Kogan Plaza on GW's Campus.

Girl1: ...And that night I had a dream about Tom Tancredo
Girl 2: (laughing) was it a sex dream?
Girl 1: It wasn't a sex dream, but it wasn't NOT a sex dream. More sensual than sexual, you know?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Now THAT is a huge waste of oreos.

Two kids were throwing what we believed to be rocks at a first-story window. Finally, the window opened and a GW student poked his head out.

Rock-Throwing Kid: Good. I didn't want to have to throw another Oreo.

--Outside Ivory Tower, 23rd and G

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Monday, May 11, 2009

But it was

Overheard on the 96 bus- Woman with an electrolarynx: "That shit ain't funny."

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Prize to whoever comes up with the funniest guess for what she might do*

Girl on cell phone outside of Eckles Library, on GW's Mt Vernon Campus:

"Are you joking? If I do that a horde of socially maladjusted freshmen will come after me, kill me, and I'll deserve it."

*And by prize, we mean EavesdropDC's undying love, but we still, that's something, right?


Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Change you can smoke

Overheard in Adams Morgan: "Yes we cannabis! Save the children! End the drug war!"

Someone else said "It's for the kids!" right before that, inspiring the unusual chant.

Friday, May 01, 2009

That's what you say now . . .

Overheard in Crime and Punishment Museum in Chinatown:

Mom to kids: "Kids, go get in jail, and daddy and I will come visit you!"