Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Begging for exact change in Jesus name

Over heard on the corner of North Capitol and First St. NE
Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Background: Two people standing on the corner one appears to be a man and one a woman. As you get closer you realize from the voices they are both women. They both are shady characters. The woman that looks like a man starts talking to this guy who is trying to hail a cab.

Woman that looks like a man: Hello sir
Guy: Hello
Woman who looks like a man: Do you have, I mean Merry Christmas
Guy: Merry Christmas to you too
Woman who looks like a man: Well do you happen to have 73 cents
Guy: No I do not
Woman who looks like a man: Well, will you pray for us anyway

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Skins fans and Dan Snyder: It's Complicated

"Dan Snyder, one day I will see you on the street and I will stab you with a rusty shank. You will die in my arms. I hate you Dan Snyder."

--screaming fan in the upper deck at Monday night's Skins/Giants game


Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Jerry Springer can usually help sort that out.

Woman on cell phone: "No, she's not pushing him for child support yet 'cause she doesn't know who the baby's father is."
-17th & Corcoran Streets NW

Monday, December 14, 2009

I also have a bailout on my Christmas list

Overheard on a train in the DC Metro on Saturday Night (12/12/09):

Two guys in Santa outfits talking to each other:

"Where are we going to say we're from when the north pole melts?"
"I dunno... Queens or something"

A few minutes later:

Random bystander: "Why are you taking the subway?"
One of the Santas: "Santa didn't get any TARP money and his reindeer
were repossessed"


Friday, December 11, 2009

It's a hard knock life

In line at a DC grocery store, 2 pm on a weekend.

customer #1 (older femaler): "yeah, he just got like 12 years, but I told him we'd make it, just like last time."
customer #2 (younger female): "I know, its like i told my boyfriend when he went away for 5, 'i'll be waiting when you get out.' That's what good women do."

Thursday, December 10, 2009

He he he. Balls are funny.

Sunday at Lucky Strike in Chinatown - 3 girls sitting at one of the bar tables which holds bowling balls underneath. A guy walks up and says, "Do you mind if I look at your balls?"

Monday, December 07, 2009

I miss the hippo too

Young boy at the zoo: This is the worst day of my life.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Technically, you are an idiot.

Overheard In Murphy's in Old Town Alexandria
Early 20's tourist to bartender: "Is it legal to smoke in this bar?"
"Yeah, you can smoke in here. It's legal"
"So wait are we in D.C. or Washington?"
"Welllll, technically they are the same, but we aren't in either one."