Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I call shenanigans.

Crossing the street in front of Gelman library, 20 year old guy to his friend:
"Yeah, then I finally found my lap top...in the dumpster...covered in semen. So that's pretty much how that went."


Monday, January 25, 2010

End of the story: he was beaten to death with a prosthetic leg.

Waiting for the elevator doors to close inside Union Station metro -

Guy (as he jumps into elevator): "hurry up and close the doors before any wheelchairs come in!"

(chuckles to himself and looks around to see if anyone is in agreement - we're not.)

Door closes.

Guy again: "Whew! That was close...I mean jeez, they already get free parking."


Friday, January 22, 2010

She needs her own boyfriend, you mean.

In a restaurant bathroom in Penn Quarter:

Girl 1: I don't know, I just think she's depressed and she needs a boyfriend or something.
Girl 2: Well I mean she keeps f***ing your boyfriend, so I guess she needs a guy.
Girl 1: Yeah, I guess that's why she and I aren't on really good terms right now.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

I'm hoping for some Potbelly's ads on the site...

Overheard on Capitol Hill: "Oh, that crazy blind guy is crossing the street. What a train wreck. Well, a car wreck, but still....


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

You heard it here first - suck it, TMZ

A woman walks into the cafe with her two- or three-year-old son and points to a magazine with Obama's picture on the cover.

"Do you know who that is, sweetie?"

The little boy looks at the picture for a minute, then back at Mom: "DADDY!"

Mom looks around to make sure no one heard - oops!

-- Tyson's Corner Barnes & Noble


Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Wait, Is Bette Midler Haitian?

In Shirlington:

"I talked to Ben and he's in for Bette Midler....that reminds me, I gotta send some money to Haiti. That shit is baaaaad."

On a serious note, you can donate money to help the people affected in Haiti at www.redcross.org

Friday, January 15, 2010

But he makes me feel safe

On the red line, near Brookland:

Woman on phone: What on earth made you want to fuck the night watchman? Honestly, you make the worst judgment calls.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Duh. It was totally Freddie Prinze Jr.

Group talking about Dawson's Creek. After 10 minutes of conversation:

Guy: Yeah, so Dawson was Rachel Leigh Cook right?


Sorry about the lack of 2010 posts so far. The holidays came and went and then your editors spent some time eavesdropping in sunny LA. Here's one of our favorites (heard on Venice Beach):

Cashier: Yeah I'd say that bacon makes everything better. I try to give it up, but then I think, being addicted to bacon is way better than being addicted to crack.

Our humblest apologies. Keep sending those eavesdrops in and we'll work to get them online for the world to see!