Wednesday, April 30, 2008

American University: Where you can get Economics Lessons and Life Lessons all rolled up into one.

American University economics professor discussing equilibrium in trade curves:

"When you reach that point, the climax, everyone can go home satisfied and exhausted. So as you can imagine, we're going to fool around with these curves quite a bit."



Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Well, at least there are puppets in the movie, you know, to distract him from all the nudity.

Couple with their 5-year old son at the movie theater getting their tickets:

Father: 3 for Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Cashier as he’s ringing them up: "Um . . . you know it’s rated R, right?

Father: Hmm, well how bad is it?

Cashier, grinning: It’s . . . Um . . .explicit . . .hehehe

Father, looks down at this 5-year old: Well…he’s gotta learn sometime right?

--Potomac Yard Theater

Monday, April 28, 2008

Newton is floating in his grave right now

Old Lady on the metro:

"I just think gravity is the most amazing thing. But, I still don't understand how it keeps us, the cars, and everything glued to the Earth while it moves around. I mean, you don't suppose we could be wrong about the Earth not being flat, do you?"

(This was followed by Old Lady nervously laughing, as if moments later she realized how ridiculous her question was.)

She just ruined someone's night.

Young (college-age-ish) woman talking on a cell phone:
"No! No, you may not wear my underwear!"

--Friday evening, Downtown Silver Spring

Friday, April 25, 2008

Do Dungeon Masters keep office hours?

Teacher: well why don't we set up a time to meet next week? do you have my cell number?
Student: no, I don't have my cell phone with me either, I'll write your number down on the most important thing I have! (pulls out sheet of paper)
Teacher: oh is that your class tracking sheet?
Student: No! ITS MY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS CHARACTER SHEET! which reminds me...i cant meet with you tomorrow.


Thursday, April 24, 2008

At least she wasn't pointing at hobos

Mother and her two children walking next to the reflection pool.

Daughter, excitedly grabbing her mom's hand and pointing at a canadian goose:
"Look Mom! Wildlife!"

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Has senior week already started?

Male 1: Dude, where are your pants?

Slightly under-clothed Male: Dude, I dunno . . . I was at Apex, and then I was here . . .

Male 1: But dude, you’re straight!



Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Don't lie, you weren't going to shower hippie!

Hiding from the rain at green apple music festival:

20 something girl: "I think this rain is my ticket out of work tomorrow"
Soaking wet hippie: "This is my ticket out of a shower today"

Wow - Mother Nature is kind of a bitch

Girl down at the rainy Earth Day festival.

“Funny. Looks like mother Earth is giving us a big 'Fuck You' on Earth Day”

Monday, April 21, 2008

He meant po-po

Catholic University walking onto the campus to Pope Benedict III:

Boy: "Mommy, mommy!!! I just said goodbye to the Pope!!!"
Mother: "That's not the Pope, it's a policeman."


Thursday, April 17, 2008

It probably beats one about sassy cavemen

Overheard in a diner in upper NW...A man talking to two friends:

"I think I'm finally gonna quit my job and write the sitcom I've always wanted to about the sassy robot"

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Father Knows Best

Exiting the GWU hospital, a father walking hand-in-hand with two sons:

Son: Dad, what's a disability?

Father: It's like when someone loses their finger in an accident, (pause) which will probably happen to you.


Tuesday, April 15, 2008

It also helps that she can cook

Guy to his guy friend: "And so I said to him... well, frankly, if you've found somebody who will take it up the ass, she's a fuckin' keeper!"

--near Takoma Metro

(Our female eavesdropper notes: how thoughtful men are amuses me every day.)

Monday, April 14, 2008

Maybe she'll grow up and be a firefighter? Alright, a stripper firefighter.

Tourist family on the Red Line in the middle of the day. There's hardly anyone on the train, and the cute little tourist girl (about five or six) is playing on the poles.

Tourist Dad: "That's right honey. You get that swinging on a pole out of your system now."

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Friday, April 11, 2008

Have you no shame, woman?

In front of the Library of Congress statues, daughter to her mother who was prodding her to pose for a picture:

"But Mom, they're naked!"

Thursday, April 10, 2008

There's a Hitler joke in here somewhere...

Some guys were talking on the orange line: "If you were stuck between a donkey and a one-eyed chicken and you only had a bra on..."

(the eavesdropper notes: they noticed people were listening and got quiet. I really wanna know where that one was going!)


If the Nazis had a mascot what would it be? Don't answer that.

Three girls talking about the rivalry between Team A and Team B.

Girl 1: I could never wear their logo or anything that has to do with them.
Girl 2: Yeah, me too. Couldn't do it.
Girl 3: I would rather wear a swastika than wear their logo!


Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Omigosh, you totally got me

GW Student #1: I hear there are new Starbucks cups
GW Student #2: oh really???? I am so excited
GW Student #1: hahaha
GW Student #2: ....not in the least
GW Student #1: they are like curved so you can hold them easier without spilling
GW Student #2: oh hell now I actually AM excited
Gw Student #1: HAHA
Gw Student #2: I am so pathetic
Gw Student #1: good cuz I just made that up, there are new cups but I have no idea if they are shaped differently


Yes...those columns can be confusing

At the Capitol building Tuesday around 1:15 pm.

Tourist Woman in her 30s, pointing to the Supreme Court: "Oh, and there's the Lincoln Memorial!"

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Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Ask not what brains your country can eat for you...

At the Kennedy Center, Sunday, 6 April, walking in the main foyer in front of the JFK sculpture:

Boy, 9-10: "Dad, that thing creeps me out. He's looks like the Zombie President."

Monday, April 07, 2008

Are the Chinese oppressing them, too?

There are starving people in Magnolia!

--West End

Friday, April 04, 2008

Some of my best friends are Islamics.

Outside the Hart Senate Office Bldg last night around 6:30....two older 50ish "suits" walking out of bldg:

Suit 1: You know, I don't even know any Islamics, or Islamic people, I just don't.
Suit 2: Yeah, and I've never been to any Islamic countries. I guess don't really know any Islamics either.


Thursday, April 03, 2008

It wasn't R. Kelly, was it?

While standing outside of the Brickskellar, a group a well-dressed twenty somethings walks by.

Guy in the group to the girl with him: "Hey, baby, can I piss on you tonight?"


Wednesday, April 02, 2008

They're trees, what did you expect?

"So we all got together and went down to look at the cherry blossoms. Turns out they all look alike and now we're bored."

--on the Mall

Square peg says what to the round hole?

"Stop trying to fit me into things!"
--Female to male coworker, West End

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

A libertarian in his own mind

A middle-age man vehemently proclaiming to his friend "I don't need no help from nobody. I get my check from the government every month.

--18th Street