And on the 4th day, God created giant slices of pizza

Guy: They're doing God's work here.

--Jumbo Slice in Adams Morgan, 3:30pm on Valentine's Day. Yes, PM.

T9's parents - not married!

18th and Columbia NW:

Man: This makes me so angry! Predictive text won't let me write 'bastard.'

Woman: Yeah, it's like the people who invented it didn't want anybody to swear.

Favorite music does not include Nirvana

In Jumbo Slice in Adams Morgan and two girls were talking about a dating site and one explains: I didn't want to put "any" in my profile 'cause I didn't want anybody into Buddhisism...you know, like, BUDDHISISM! That would be too weird for me.

(Editor's Note: that's how the religion was spelled in the email we got - not sure if that's what the girl said or if it's just a typo).

Persistence is futile

Homeless man on sidewalk in Adams Morgan: You got some change?
Girl: No, sorry, no change.
Homeless man: Well I'll take dollars.
Girl: No, no cash at all.
Homeless man: Well, I'll walk with you to the ATM.

How you know a date is going downhill

At an Italian restaurant in Adams Morgan, a girl and a guy on a date on Valentine's Day:

Girl: So, I want to try ecstasy
Guy: Why?
Girl: You did.
Guy: Yeah but that was five years ago.

Scratchandwinnakuh?

Guy: I used to have a Jewish girlfriend and it was great - I'd get to celebrate all the holidays with her family. My favorite was the one where the dad hid lottery tickets around the house.

--Adams Morgan

I'm getting visions of sugarplums and the spins

Guy: I gotta start drinking early, 'cus no one likes a sober Santa

--Adams Morgan

At EavesdropDC, we like to start our day with a little irony

One older gentleman talking to another, watching cops chase down some teenage thugs:

"If they'd just start killing them young heathens, there wouldn't be so much violence around here."

--Adams Morgan

I'm not sure we want to start the day off with a little racism, but . . .

Guy hitting on a girl:

Guy: ". . . So, then I worked for the Kerry Campaign . . ."

Girl: "You worked for Kerry?"

Guy: "Yeah."

Girl: "I used to be pretty liberal too, but then I moved to DC and met all of these minorities."

--Brass Monkey

Sounds like my kind of lesbian

Two men talking: "She's the one who introduced me to the lesbian that beat me up after sex".
--Adams Morgan

biologically, sluts do have larger, um, tearducts

Guy 1: Why is Amanda crying?
Guy 2: Amanda is crying because she's a slut.

--Adams Morgan

He's got game (and he's a liar)

Guy to girl: “I didn’t buy you this drink to get in your pants. I bought you this drink because I’m new to the city, and I need to meet people.”
-Toledo Lounge, Adams Morgan