Unlike you.

In Forever 21 fitting room, at Pentagon City:

Teenage girl 1: Oh my god, I hate you, everything looks good on you.
Teenage girl 2: No, not really, I just get the right size.

Century fail.

Archives security guard talking about the Declaration of Independence, Bill of Rights and US Constitution:

"No flash phototgraphy. No white light of any kind. It will damage the parchment. All of these documents are the originals from the 17th century..."

--National Archives

It's the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine)

"Yeah, see he's a Christian and he's does all this youth ministry stuff so I'm just gonna read the whole thing and catch up!"

-Woman buying a copy of 'The Complete Idiots Guide to the Book of Revelation" at Safeway

G-E-L-L-O just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Man yelling into cell phone: "No, I'm on G Street! G street! G as in Jello!"

Overheard on G St.

You need to get out more

Two girls are walking through Kogan Plaza on GW's Campus.

Girl1: ...And that night I had a dream about Tom Tancredo
Girl 2: (laughing) was it a sex dream?
Girl 1: It wasn't a sex dream, but it wasn't NOT a sex dream. More sensual than sexual, you know?

Now THAT is a huge waste of oreos.

Two kids were throwing what we believed to be rocks at a first-story window. Finally, the window opened and a GW student poked his head out.

Rock-Throwing Kid: Good. I didn't want to have to throw another Oreo.

--Outside Ivory Tower, 23rd and G

But it was

Overheard on the 96 bus- Woman with an electrolarynx: "That shit ain't funny."

Prize to whoever comes up with the funniest guess for what she might do*

Girl on cell phone outside of Eckles Library, on GW's Mt Vernon Campus:

"Are you joking? If I do that a horde of socially maladjusted freshmen will come after me, kill me, and I'll deserve it."




*And by prize, we mean EavesdropDC's undying love, but we still, that's something, right?

Change you can smoke

Overheard in Adams Morgan: "Yes we cannabis! Save the children! End the drug war!"

Someone else said "It's for the kids!" right before that, inspiring the unusual chant.

That's what you say now . . .

Overheard in Crime and Punishment Museum in Chinatown:

Mom to kids: "Kids, go get in jail, and daddy and I will come visit you!"