Get that guy a record deal

Rosslyn, near the corner of Wilson Blvd outside of a Starbucks:

Homeless man singing at the top of his lungs to the tune of Kings of Leon "Use Somebody" ...

Man: "You knowww that I could use some monneyyyyyyyy!!!"

My, how U Street has changed?

Woman in her 30’s walking her pint size mini-dog while chatting on her cell phone to a friend. They were making plans for the evening, to attend a party.

Woman asked her friend, “Would I be overdressed in patent leather heels and tights?”

--1300 Block of U Street, north side in front of Alero

Ew, vomit. Wait. Sorry, unfortunate word choice.

Overheard in Foggy Bottom near the GW library

Group of sorority girls talking about pledge week.

Girl 1: Look, that's her across the street! She's the one I want to be my little!

Girl 2: She looks anorexic.

Girl 1: I know, I love her.

Maybe because they're made of pepperoni

Orange line, Metro Center:

Woman 1: Oh my god, I want to eat your shoes
Woman 2: Why does everyone keep saying that?

That's so deep for an ugly person

Man and woman in Foggy Bottom:

Woman: I've never noticed...people in DC are actually really good dressers.

Man: They have to be. DC is just Hollywood for ugly people.

Woman: Huh?

Man: Yeah, that's all politics is - well-dressed ugly people.

And then Michael Bay blew it all up

Overheard on M street in Georgetown. Group of high school students visiting DC on a school trip:

Girl 1: We're going to the hotel after this right?
Girl 2: Yeah, this is the last stop for the day... I don't see how this place is historical
Girl 1: They did shoot that one scene in Transformers, my all time faaaavorite movie, here.

How is the environmental movement on Uranus?

One of those volunteers for Greenpeace: Hey, let me ask you a question: What's your favorite planet?
Girl walking in a hurry: Uranus

--M and Thomas Jefferson in Gtown

But I thought JC was my wingman

Overheard in an Old Town Alexandria bar:

"You know Jesus is the ultimate cockblocker."

and with that . . . Happy Long Weekend!

Not-so-busy cabbie watching passengers walk by at the Rockville Metro Sunday afternoon:

"It's a blessed day! A little hot, a little humid, a lot of tits-and-ass."

FAIL

coming out of Inglourious Basterds:

Young 20-Something Chick: "I know the Nazis were bad n' all, but daaaaamn, were their uniforms hot!"

Hopefully she gave recommendations for the best porno too.

McLean Safeway, the afternoon of Monday, 24 August.

50-Something Lady in camo cargo shorts and Bethany Beach muscle shirt, to the cashier/bagger: "...and I swear [Bagger-Guy's name], that had to be the absolute worst porno I've ever seen. But I did watch about 40 minutes of it..."