Um, I'd like a bigger expense account please.

Old guy in suit: "And the best part about the internet? The free wi-fi at Motel Six."

Young guy in suit: [awkward silence]

--Farragut North / Connecticut Avenue NW

Hide your pet rabbits, gentlemen.

3 female co-workers standing on the corner waiting for walk signal.

1st woman: So, you think he is?

2nd woman: No, you don't really think he is?

3rd woman: Hell, yes I know he is. He is cheating on his wife and me. I'm gonna cut off his dick and then quit! That'll teach him.

--Corner of 15th and L, NW

Can't come in today, came down with a light case of the stroke.

Angry Boss: Jeff called out sick again! I can't believe it.
Worker: Calm down, it's not completely his fault.
Angry Boss: But this is the second time he's called out sick in a week! He's hurting us! He's hurting the company!
Worker: Well, he can't help that he has a heart attack issue.

--Canal Square, Georgetown

Wasn't that already a movie called The Tuxedo?

Asian guy talking about how he looks in a suit:

"If James Bond were Asian, two thumbs up right here."

-23rd Street

Guess who's getting audited this year!

Businessman on cell phone: Listen, I don't think we have to follow EVERY rule of the IRS exactly.
--19th and M, NW