Thursday, August 28, 2008

I kissed a girl and I liked it . . . (ha - now you'll have that song in your head all day)

Random guy going out: "Yeah, well she was married to one guy, then got divorced. Then she got married again, to another guy, then divorced again, and now she's a lesbian."
-Dupont Circle


Mmm . . . we heart artificial flavoring too.

Twenty-something girl: "I can't eat more than one M&M at a time because I like to savor them."

-virginia square


Wednesday, August 27, 2008

We've been infiltrated!

Gal at bar watching DNC speeches: Who's that?
Guy: Sebelius - she's the governor of Kansas
Gal: She looks like a cylon

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

You know how women can be . . .

Female customs and border patrol officer (in uniform): "So I wasn't surprised when he left his wife for his girlfriend, but I was surprised by the domestic battery charge . . . but, you know how women can be."

-Orange line metro

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He has the same trainer as Kim Kardashian

Guy to his friend: "I got this new personal trainer and told him that I wanted a butt. So we built me a butt from scratch. I really fill out my pants now."

-Overheard on the red line near Gallery Place


Saturday, August 23, 2008

To our friends

Dear friends of EavesdropDC,

If you noticed your facebook friend list one fewer, we are sorry to tell you that Facebook has deleted our profile page! But, do not fear, we still want to be friends with you. Instead, become a FAN of EavesdropDC by clicking here.

Your friend,


Friday, August 22, 2008

NELB - Sent in July 9

Girl to her friend: So what's the time difference between New York and DC?
--Overheard on the 7:30am Vamoose Bus from Rosslyn to NYC


NELB - sent in July 25

Interns, discussing future career plans:

Guy: "He's a pretty smart guy as I understand it."

Girl: "Well, I'm a smart girl!"

Guy: "He's a Career Ambassador, which is equivalent to a 4 star .... and you could totally take his job in like 30 years!"

Girl: "thankssssss and until then?"

Guy: "Work on your Arabic and get married. I've discovered that everybody in high level positions is married. Appaently you're not trustworthy single.


NELB - sent in July 21st

Foreign affairs intern: "we're in the same sorority. we both graduated phi beta kappa. I'm just like Condi..(pause).... but white"

NELB - sent in August 11

Bethesda Giant:

Guy 1: Dude, does this mean I can call you at any hour and be like "Brad get me a choco taco?"
Guy 2: Yep.
Guy 1: Aweeesome...

NELB - Sent in July 10

Mid-twenties couple on Red line train, talking about some event she was invited to:

Girl: "He told us to dress ‘hot’. What’s ‘hot’?"

Guy: "I’d say visually appealing."

Girl: "But I think I’m always visually appealing. I think this is hot." (gestures to work clothes)

Guy: "Spice it up a bit—wear fish nets."


NELB - sent in this morning

Waiting on an orange line metro.

A group of older tourists who seem to have covered a lot of ground that day:

Old man tourist: Where are we going now? New York? St. Louis?
Local host: We're going to Vienna.
Old man tourist: Oh, Italy!


Fergie would be so proud . . . AND it's No Eavesdrop Left Behind Day!

3 kids, under 10 years old, singing: "G-g-g-get you drunk, get you drunk, drunk off my humps..."

-By the Smithsonian castle

[Note from EavesdropDC: It's time for another No Eavesdrop Left Behind Day, so we'll be posting every hour today . . . be sure to check back frequently for more eavesdroppy goodness.]


Thursday, August 21, 2008

Need vs. Want

Apropos of apparently nothing:

"Dude, I don't need boob implants."

-Cafe Japone in Dupont Circle

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

In other news, Nike dropped its Olympic track and field sponsorship for the math team

In a DC Office:

Early twenty something guy on the phone: "Math's not analytical; it's just formulas. You just do it."

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

We're assuming they play for Delaware.

Softball Player Girl: "I don't know about you, but this is gonna be one long, drunken metro ride home."

Softball Player Boy: "Lucky, I have to drive."

--CAN Softball Tournament at Goddard Softball Fields


Monday, August 18, 2008

It's scientifically proven: beer goggles do exist!

One guy to another: "Dude! You lied to me! You said she had a mustache, but she's good looking!"

-Gallery Place

Friday, August 15, 2008

[insert inappropriate terrorism joke here]

Heard standing in line to go through metal detector at a senate office building:

20 something girl intern on blackberry steps through metal detector.

Sweet-ass Security guard: "Miss your going to have to hang up your phone and run it through the machine."

20 something girl Intern: "But I'm NOT a terrorist, and I'm on an important call. Can't I just walk through?"

Sweet-ass Security guard: "Miss, that would be like Timothy McVeigh driving up and asking 'hey, can I park my car here?'"


Thursday, August 14, 2008

5 points if you can hit that.

20 Something girl on cell phone on 21st Street/Dupont: "I've eaten road kill before. [pause] It's OK if you see it die. [pause] no it's not ok to if you didn't see it killed..."


Wednesday, August 13, 2008

A new Olympic sport

Two 20-something girls on the orange line after work.

Girl 1: "I watch MSNBC"
Girl 2: "Which show?"
Girl 1: "Oh, I like handball with Chris Matthews."
Gril 2: "Oh yeah, I like that show too!"

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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Don't we all?

Woman 1: Come on, hurry up! I want to go home.

Woman 2: Jesus, you sure do get cranky when you're sober.

-Adams Morgan

Monday, August 11, 2008

Who wears short shorts?

In the Georgetown Banana Republic:

Girl 1: I really love this dress, but I think it's a tad too short for work. I'm only supposed to be buying dresses for work right now.

Girl 2: Really? It's not too short for my office. But my boss only hires pretty people, so he likes it when we wear short dresses.

Girl 1: Did you think I'm ugly?

Girl 2: No!! Buy the dress and send me your resume.

Friday, August 08, 2008

Maybe he's a Cylon

Overheard in the atrium at the HQ of one of the national intelligence agencies:

Young woman to her female buddy: " just wasn't meant to be. He refused to self-actualize me..."

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Some people have very photogenic crotches

Guy: That’s a great way to get a picture of nothing but crotch.

--US Botanic Gardens

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

How to repair the U.S. image abroad

US Ambassador: "I'll just go to the table shirtless"

Monday, August 04, 2008

Maybe there are whores and drugs on the bus

(on the sidewalk, a man is running)
girl 1: Hey! You can't run from your past!
girl 2: You can't run away from all the drugs! And the whores! You can't run from your past!
girl 1: Oh. He's running for a bus.


Friday, August 01, 2008


intern guy: I'm trying to imagine what a masochistic society would be like
20-something girl: ...AMAZING