Use the force, Ronnie

A GW Professor, during a Lecture on Reagan's Strategic Defense Initiative and the political cartoons it inspired:

[Pulls up a slide with a cartoon of Reagan and Yoda]

Professor: "And here you see a cartoon with Reagan and his newest military advisor, someone clearly accustomed to fighting an Evil Empire… [Impersonating Yoda] fight the Soviet Union, we must!"

Class: *laughs*

[Pulls up the next slide with a cartoon of Reagan standing amongst C3PO, R2D2, and E.T.]

Professor: "Here, yet another political cartoon poking fun at Reagan's Star Wars plan. Only, this time the cartoonist has made a mistake, for E.T. was obviously not a Star Wars character. He should have included my favorite character, Chewbacca, instead."

Student in class: DO A CHEWBACCA IMPRESSION!

Professor: "Oh, no, I'm far too intellectual for that."

Texted in, without explanation, this eavesdrop led to a very uncomfortable conversation between Eavesdrop co-workers

"Why aren't you working out baby? I thought you wanted to become a sex goddess."

-20th and H

[Sidenote, after the fact: just enjoy the Eavesdrop itself -- we know that subject line doesn't make sense.]

I'm going to get one of those stupid purse dogs and call it The Rock.

20-something woman on cell phone: "What is wrong with you?! SERIOUSLY!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Why would you get an English bulldog and name it Boris Yeltsin?"

--Ross on Rt. 50/Falls Church

Skateboarding is hotter than Hansel. And he's so hot right now. That's right, Zoolander quotes never get old.

Girl: "I always wondered why skateboarding was so hot. Then I realized that in order to keep going, you have to swivel your hips, and that's suggestive."

--13th ad Penn, outside the National Theater

Could have fooled me.

On the shuttle bus from GW's Mt. Vernon campus to Foggy Bottom, one girl to another:

Girl: "I mean, I like him and everything, but why does he need 4 days of birthday celebrations? My whole life isn't about being a hag!"

Try prying off the screen on the back. I bet that's where the film is.

Man: "They gave me a digital camera, so I used it...but I don't know how to develop it."

--Vietnam Veteran's Memorial

Wait, I thought we got Mexico when we got Texas?

US Airways counter:

Ticket Agent: "Good morning sir. How can I help you?"

Man: "[Gives last name] party of two, 7:45 flight going to Cancun. I think the flight goes through Charlotte."

Ticket Agent: "Ok, sir, can I see your passports, please?"

Man: "Passports?"

Ticket Agent: "Yes sir, I need to see your passports."

Man: "I gave you our drivers licenses."

Ticket Agent: "Sir, you have to have passports for all international travel."

Man: "We're going to Cancun. "That's not international travel."

Ticket Agent: "Sir, Cancun is in Mexico. That's international travel."

Man: "Since when?"

--one of the DC airports (send us details people!)

Where I put this?

The Scene: After finding a chunk of a wig on the metro floor, a foreign man decides to pose with it on his foot:

College age girl: "Wow, you're really brave."

Woman passenger: "Or just really stupid."

Foreign man: "Compared to human feces, this is nothing."

--Red line metro, near Dupont Circle

Stay classy, Washington

Dude 1: Yo, you remember that girl?

[Dude 2 has confused look, clearly does not remember girl in question]

Dude 1: I blew a load all over her face!

--D2

I'm a little envious and a little nauseated all at the same time.

Nurse: "Do you have insurance?"

Girl: "I have no idea. I bet you hear that all the time huh?"

Nurse: "Well, you are going to have to come back sometime next week, but not between 1-2 pm. The doctor is on her lunch break then.

Girl: "Oh, I'm still asleep then. And isn't lunch like at 4 or 5 pm anyways?"

--DC Doctor's Office

Another note from the Eavesdrop Offices: EavesdropDC will be taking off for Thanksgiving starting tomorrow. So, eat turkey, listen for stupid things your relatives say, and send them to us so that we can post them on Monday.

Don't forget: EavesdropDC is now on Facebook! Friend us!

What kind of friend are you?

Girl on phone: "No, I will not contribute to your drug habits!"

-GW

Note from EavesdropDC: EavesdropDC is now on Facebook! Friend us!

Now lobbying for "National Congressional Scheduler Day" to adequately provide thanks.

Gal: You know, time traveling is a thankless job, kind of like being a Congressional scheduler.

-- Van Ness

"Ear infection" takes on an entirely new meaning.

Girl on cellphone: "It's just your ear, you can't get an STD!"

--GW

Sounds like another great reality show for Fox.

Clearly drunk girl with a beer bong (to no one in particular): "I'll funnel YOU."

Random guy: "THAT'D be interesting."

--Near Foggy Bottom / GW metro station

A now a special reminder about tomorrow's Help The Homeless Walkathon

Homeless guy in front of the shelter at 13th and K NW ranting:

"I've got two eyes, I ain't no fucking Cyclops!"

It's getting hot in here, Bob Dole's gonna take off all his clothes

First guy: "Now this is Global Warming."
Second guy: "Yeah, we should have elected Bob Dole. He knows what to
do about global warming."

--Five Guys in Dupont

You mean Poughkeepsie, New York, right?

Guy with friend flagrantly jaywalking across 23rd & L St NW during afternoon rush hour:

"See that's what I hate about DC; in New York the cars would stop for
you, but here they'll just run you over"

Google Maps isn't that mobile.

Dupont Circle CVS, waiting in line behind a 20-something guy and 20-something woman. They were talking about where they were going next.

Guy: "Do you know how to get there?"

Girl: "Yeah. I mean, I know where it is. I don't have a direct route planned or anything. We'll find it."

Guy: "Oh..."

Girl: "Hey, this isn't Google Maps up here (pointing to her head)"

Excuse me, but do you have a fanny pack hidden under that sports coat?

In overcrowded metro car at Woodley Park, during last week's delays on the red line:

Cranky Old Guy: "Excuse me, I need to get on the train."

Guy Nearest Door: "You know, there's really not any room in this car."

Cranky Old Guy: "I can see that, but I need to board anyway. Some of us need to get to work."

Guy a Few Feet Away: "Do you really think all the rest of us are just tourists in suits?"

Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to NoVa we go!

Group of people heading to a dinner party in Fairlington:

Guy: Alright, let's go be suburban.

We weren't, but thanks for the update!

"If anyone's interested, no, I did not get laid last night!"
--Arlington

You are unemployed and have a lot of free time, right?

Metro escalator, Pentagon City, 6:30 pm:

Man to other man: "When I have kids, I ain't gonna do that just sending in money shit. I'm gonna be a daddy. I'm gonna go to PTA meetings and take my kid to the gym."

More GW-y goodness to end the week.

Guy waiting for an elevator in a dorm:

"Girl, I don't know why you telling me this, I didn't get you pregnant. If I did, youda known."

-GW

Thank you, GW, for always giving us people to mock.

Girl on the phone: "This is the first Friday I haven't been hungover! I'm going to class, it's nice out, and I feel great!"

--GW, last Friday

You're a smart one, aren't you?

(while walking through security for the White House)

DIA Chick: "I should have brought my DIA badge so they know I work for a superior agency."

Dude: "What are you talking about, this is the White House, they own you."

DIA Chick: "No! I work for the DIA."

Dude: "Which is owned by the White House."

DIA Chick: "Nu-uh we work for Congress."

I am the most famous thing about my apartment complex

Foggy Bottom:

1: "So you live in the Watergate"
2: "I do. The famous Watergate complex"
1: "It's famous?"
2: "Yeah - the Nixon scandal and everything"
1: "Oh — I don't really follow current events."

Double Platinum Douche Bag

I was walking outside the Mayflower Hotel when I could not help but overhear this conversational gem from one of an obnoxious trio:

"Big Daddy's gonna be DOUBLE PLATINUM after this business trip!!"

Crap! Alaska's floated out into the North Pacific again.

DC Office worker talking to a customer on the phone:

DC Office worker: I can't ship UPS Ground to Alaska, it's not on the same continent

Well, obviously, they don't believe you because you are stupid.

Well dressed guy on his cell phone at 16th and P NW at lunchtime:

"Whenever I tell people I'm a neurologist they always feel the need to say-- so you're a brain surgeon? And you know, it's like, yeah motherfucker, I'm a brain surgeon!"

Sounds more productive than how I spent my weekend

Saturday night, 20-something guy in a suit to friends: "I fucking networked my ass off!"

--Cleveland Park

We can only assume girl 2 lived in Mabel Thurston

Overheard in a Dupont Circle apartment building elevator:

Barely out of college girl 1: "Where I went to school, there was nothing to do. Everyone just drank all the time."

Barely out of college girl 2: "Yeah, like where I went, everyone drank and everyone had STDs."

Mulletastic no more!

"He grew out his business in the front, now he's all party"
-McFadden's

DC Drag Races - the gift that keeps on giving

Outside Fox & Hound at the races:

Drunk girl 1: Oh my god, I have to show you something!
Drunk girl 2: Is this another picture with you doing something crazy?
Drunk girl 1: No, look (she pulls out picture from the book in her bag and pointing at picture she explains) - This is *stupid girl 1* and *stupid girl 2* and then *stupid girl 3* and me.
Drunk girl 2: No way!
Drunk girl 1: Yeah. I never thought we would all take pictures of our nipples like that, but now its kind of a cool collage.
Drunk guy 1: Can I make copies of that?

More fun from the drag race

17th street drag race, drunk guy walking through a crowded area:

"Man down! Man down! Oh, it's a bike."