Now, is this pre or post Wings?

Guy: "He kind of looks like Thomas Hayden Church
Girl: "He's pretty attractive."
Guy: "Alright, imagine Thomas Hayden Church as a child molester."
Girl: [pauses] "Still pretty attractive."

--Froggy Bottom

In 1492, Martin Luther King, Jr. had a dream of sailing the ocean blue.

Girl: "We're not getting Martin Luther King Day off at school."
Guy: "Columbus Day is this upcoming holiday."
Girl: "Whatever...they're both famous people."

Georgetown, earlier this month

Well, she is known for pounding her beers.

Girl to guy (and, effectively, everyone around her): "So we were at this bar, and there was this guy in a giant 7-foot Heineken suit, right? So what else do you do when you see a guy in a giant 7-foot Heinekin suit? Yeah, so I started humping it."

-- at the High Heel Race

Tonight, on the Ocho!

Guy: This sucks. They're not jousting at full speed like they do on tv.
Guy 2: They have jousting on tv?

-- Maryland Renaissance Faire

The Tamil Tigers in Northeast DC. That's newsworthy.

Guy: You know, I would care about this Gallaudet thing...
Girl: If they could talk?
Guy: No, if they were armed militants. Armed, deaf militants, that would be a good story.

-- West End

I once found a dead baby in my Frosty.

There was a large anti-abortion protest, complete with large posters with pictures of dead fetuses-

Guy, with Wendy's in hand:"God damnit! I'm trying to eat my Wendy's! Could they wait until AFTER I finish before they pull out the dead babies!"

-- Kogan Plaza, GWU

I'll take "Things I never want to see" for $1000 Alex.

Crazy homeless man: "There's one thing I never lie about, and that's my 10 inch slab."
Passerby: "Oh yeah? Prove it!"

-- Old Town

Yeah, their weather sucks because you're not a member. Today's the last day to join!

Homeless Man (to Preppy Girl): "Hey, girl! Where's your coat?"

Preppy Girl: "Um, at home, sir."

Homeless Man: "But it's cold out! Damn, girl. Don't you listen to WTOP?"

Preppy Girl: "No, sir. WETA."

Homeless Man: "Man, their weather ain't worth shit."

--outside St. Matthew's Cathedral

She's probably not very "PlanBdextrous" either. (Metro sniglets rule!)

Woman (to eavesdropper): "Is this the train to Shady Grove?" (while standing
near a sign that said "Shady Grove" and next to train that said "Shady
Grove")

Gallery Place-Chinatown Station

No its just like where babies come from, the stork delivers it.

Customer: "You're mailing that...does that come in the mail?"

-- ??

Eavesdrop DC's first ever response to an eavesdrop.

Just about every employee at the Court of Federal Claims: "Who wants to know where the Court of Federal Claims is?"

- Near some park

Tis a far, far better thing to be a doorker than an escalefter.

teen tourist girl 1: Gah, that lady was such an escalefter!
teen tourist girl 2: Ugh, I know! Doesn't she know that you don't just stand there on the left side? Gosh.
teen tourist girl 1: Whatever, so where's this zoo?

discussing at the top of the Metro Center escalator as many try to maneuver around them:

It's on the corner of 2 streets, one is a letter and the other is a number. No, one is a state, and the other is a number. No, wait...

Tourist lady (with husband): Where is the courthouse?
Local chick: Well, there are many courthouses.
Tourist lady (after consulting husband): The federal courthouse.
Local chick: Uh, there are many federal courthouses.
Tourist lady (after consulting husband): The Court of Federal Claims.
Local chick: Hmm... I'm actually not sure where that one is....
Tourist lady (after consulting husband again): Apparently it's near the park. Can you just tell me where the park is?
Local chick: Uh, there are many parks.

-- Metro Center metro

If by genius you mean self-imporant hipster, then yeah it's a genius bar.

Apple Store guy: If you just sit tight, someone from the Genius Bar will be with you shortly.
Guy with iPod issues: I have a real quick question. Do you think you could help me?
ASG: No. I'm not one of the geniuses.

-- Apple store in Clarendon

Don't try that with Fun Dip. Bad memories man, bad bad memories.

Woman: (on phone) Ok (sneeze), I'll get some (sneeze) rest, and try (sneeze) to come in to the office (sneeze) tomorrow. Bye. (sneeze)
Man: I thought you wer e only pretending to be sick. Can you sneeze on command now?
Woman: No, I sniffed some pepper before I called the office.

-- Undisclosed location in Washington DC

Don't insult their beer, the yuppies will attack!

Guy with strong southern accent to friend: "No, see, I got a Stella. I know you heard of it. Stella AR-toys?"

-- Whitlow's on Wilson, referring (presumably) to his Stella Artois beer

Note to self: NEVER post pictures online

Scene: A group of young, pretty girls taking a group picture

Dirty old man #1 to dirty old man #2: I wonder if they'll post those pictures on Myspace.

Yeah, well the letters don't like you either.

Middle-aged woman to her friend: "I won't go in that store because I don't like the letters."

-- Outside FCUK in Georgetown.

Massachusetts: Home of the Red Sox, Faneuil Hall, Harvard, and ... the Naval Observatory?

Tourist trying to find hotel to man on street: "Excuse me, do you know where Massachusetts is?"
Man: "The state?"
Tourist: "No, the street!"
Man: "Oh. No."

-Dupont Circle

Does David Cassidy come with that living room?

Guy: "No, dude. We don't have that couch anymore. We had to get rid of it because she redecorated and went a little overboard. Our living room now looks like an airport lounge circa 1976."

-- G st, SE

TGIF

Woman 1: I'll see you tomorrow.
Woman 2: Mmmmhmmm... hey tomorrow's Friday, let's do somethin' special.
Woman 1: What do you have in mind?
Woman 2: Fried chicken, mmmmhmmmm, I've been wantin' some friiied chicken.
Woman 1: Oooooo... that sounds good.

- Chinatown metro

It's not a tumor! (pronounced tooo-mahhhh)

Guy to companions: "Hey, that Starbucks is new. Wow, they just keep metastasizing...."

-- Vermont and L, NW

Only if pedestrians get to punch people on segways. Now all we can do is mock.

Scene: Turning right on to 13th from G in rush hour.

Passenger: I wish people would cross the street faster.
Driver: Yea, it should be legal to run over pedestrians who start walking on the yellow light. Or at least punch the ones who cross in front of my car and stand there waiting for the other light. I mean, I'm in a car, you're not. Fair game.

To the moon, Alice!

Girl : Is that a giant lampshade?
Guy: No, that's Apollo 13.

-- Air and Space Museum