That doesn't make you look more open-minded.

Parking lot in Alexandria:

Girl: I don't like how those guys over there are congregating.
Guy: You wouldn't be saying that if they were white.
Girl: I would if they looked like Eminem.

That's why I dye my chest hair.

Guy (holding up packs of underwear): So what do you think, grey, or colored patterns?
Girl: I'm not sure I'm feeling the grey.
Guy: Really? I think grey goes well my skin tone better, personally.
Girl: You're not seriously talking about trying to match your underwear to your skin tone, are you?
Guy: Missy, if you're allowed to color-coordinate your bra and panties, I'm allowed to make sure my underwear doesn't clash with my skin palette!

--Target, Potomac Yards

Death Camp for Cutie

If I ever have to run a death camp, I am definitely not hiring her. She’s way too detail-oriented, and it’s the kind of thing were you DON’T want a paper trail.

--Guy at Trader Joe's in Foggy Bottom

A flat-on-your-back-naked spelling bee? Count me in!

Law school professor: “It's not so easy to spell things when you're standing up.”

--GW

Hank Greenberg, we salute you!

Guy to friend: What's with your hard-on for Jewish sports heroes?

--Mackeys, NW DC.

Maybe he uses Gay Fuel: The Red Bull for Gays!?

Grey haired woman to friend: "Overall a really sweet guy, but a little high energy so... I think he might be gay"

--Dupont Metro Station

Long and hard fruit vs. small and shrivelled fruit? We're not really talking about fruit are we?

Girl 1: "Why are my banana privileges revoked again?"
Girl 2: "Uh, I don't remember."
Girl 1: "Oh! I know! It's because I rejected your love raisin. Are you really still mad at me about that?"

--American University, next to the McKinnley Building

If only they could figure out how to install a crayon sharpener on the side of the bus

Discussing school boards...

Man 1: "Well, the state controls salaries and hours... there's really not much left for them to decide. of course someone jokingly suggested the color of the school buses."

Man 2: "Though federal law probably says they have to be yellow."

Man 1: "Either that or it's a contract with the Crayola company."

--On the shuttle at Dulles Airport

It goes well with my penchant for mischief and crush on Kelly Kapowski

Guy pulls out a large, outdated camera: "This is my Zack Morris digital camera."

-Foggy Bottom

Tom is a douchebag, but he's still my friend

Girl 1: "I can't believe she friended me on MySpace. I don't even like her. I mean, should I friend her back? If I do, does this mean that I have to talk to her? Should I be nice? I'm so confused."

Girl 2: "Yes, just friend her back. Rejection on MySpace is even worse than in real life."

--Foggy Bottom

We caved to virtual peer pressure! You can now check out EavesdropDC on MySpace: www.myspace.com/eavesdropdc. Friend us!

Your charity knows no bounds...

Girl: I'm supporting the Saints because I didn't give any money for Hurricane Katrina and feel like I should do something.
Guy 1: Well what about the tsunami?
Guy 2: Thai's can't play football.

--Porters, NW DC (watching the Saints-Eagles game)

Who knew MLK Day would produce more quotes than New Years?

Man: "These wreaths are for Martin Luther King."
Woman: "Oh, well, why are they at the Lincoln Memorial?"

--Monday, On the steps of the Lincoln Memorial

An MLK Day epiphany

Yesterday...

White House staffer: Yeah, I had to come in to work today.
Guy: Wow, so George Bush really doesn't care about black people.

--White House

Don't forget to make your resolutions for restaurant week!

Vapid female: "I don't have reservations... except to be like, a better person."

--Chinatown bus from Manhattan to DC on New Year's Day

biologically, sluts do have larger, um, tearducts

Guy 1: Why is Amanda crying?
Guy 2: Amanda is crying because she's a slut.

--Adams Morgan

Word of the day toilet paper, anyone?

Dork: "So I think that's what happened. It probably just didn't get much use over the interregnum...."
Chick: "Wait, did you just say "interregnum"?"
Dork: "Yeah, 'interregnum.' It means a break or pause in a chain of continuous events....
Chick: "No no, I know what it means. I just never thought I'd hear it actually used... in conversation... like, ever."

-- Outside the Georgetown movie theaters

Guess who's getting audited this year!

Businessman on cell phone: Listen, I don't think we have to follow EVERY rule of the IRS exactly.
--19th and M, NW

Since when has Freddie Prinze Jr. been described as rustic?

Rustic looking guy: "you should pull your hair down and take off your glasses at the same time"

Confused female: "why?"

Rustic looking guy: "well in the movies, unattractive girls take their glasses off and pull their hair down and it makes them attractive. I just wanted to see if it would work on you"

--Friday night at Lucky Bar

Busy in a 6 Feet Under kind of way, or busy in a Queen Latifah Beauty Parlor kind of way?

Salon manager: "Do you realize how busy it will be on Tuesday? We have a dead president!"

-At a hair salon in Arlington

Dude, I bet you were Gus-Gusing like a rock star last night!

College-age girl: "Sometimes I'm self-conscious about sucking in. But I just let it all hang out last night!"

-Green line metro

Thank God the Allies Got the Bomb First...Those Germans Were Innovative!

During The Good Shepherd: In a scene during World War II in Berlin, a lady leaves her large clunky hearing-aid on a nightstand. The camera zooms in on it. An entire scene unfolds after that, all hinged on that hearing aid.

Many minutes later, a girl a few seats down whispers loudly:"Wait. What was that? Was that an iPod and her Bluetooth?"

Everyone's a little bit racist today

Gay 1 (DC local): "So, what's the gay life like out there as compared to here?"

Gay 2 (DC transplant to some midwestern state): "Actually, it's got more, like, hot guys who are genuinely nice. Not like the namby-pamby types here."

Gay 1: "Ah, I see."

Gay 2: "Yeah, and they're all white. There's only like 3 black in the whole town."

Gay 1: Very nice.

-- JRs (Overheard by a non-white guy who was literally standing less than 1.5 feet in front of the conversation.)